Roses are red
Violets aren’t ferns
Since I’ve been with you
When I pee it burns.
“Where does it hurt?” the doctor asked.
“Right Ear” replied the Englishman, pointing to his broken ankle.
You Might Also Like
Obama: Joe, look. Full moon
Biden: What? TONIGHT? *starts shapeshifting*
*Gore kicks door down*
[Cute Girl]: *in hot tub* Hey baby. Why don’t you come join me?
[Lobster]: No I’m good over here. That’s how my dad died.
Thank you for your comment did you use some kind of random word generator?
I love how fresh & clean my bathroom smells after I’ve killed a spider with a full bottle of windex
When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself “what would the hulk do?”
Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!
Neighbor may have just called the cops after hearing me yell at the cat for stealing my cheese bread
20YR OLD ME: awww yeah! a new car!
30YR OLD ME: aww yeah! a new Xbox 360!
40YR OLD ME: aw yeah! a new shower curtain with a mildew-resistant liner!
Strip search? Fine but I’m going to need some music.
SNAKE CHARMER: Well ain’t you a cutie
COBRA *blushing*: tee hee