Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
While I appreciate that you’re bringing sexy back, if we’re not also discussing who took sexy away, we’re only enabling future sexy problems
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ME: (falling to my death in an elevator shaft) lol shaft
S: Promise you won’t be mad?
B: [sighs] I asked if you had to go before we left the Batcave!!
Me: No glove no love.
Gyno: Please don’t make another pap uncomfortable.
Please tell me there’s a veterinary text on ruminants called Graze Anatomy
ME: Do you come here often?
HER: Sir, I’m the librarian.
ME: Uh huh.
HER: And this is a library.
ME: Oh, gotcha.
HER: Okay then.
ME: *whispers* Soooo, do you come here often?
At this wedding, the DJ played The Black Eyed Peas, everyone left the dance floor. I like these people.
“Did anyone else’s house get burglarized and have horrible music put on all their devices……….oh U2?”
My life is like that Rihanna song :work, work and work, and then I don’t understand anything else.
Please join me in prayer for my two year old daughter, her sleeve is wet.