@IamEnidColeslaw

who is Godzilla’s least favorite relative? his MOTHRA-IN-LAW

You Might Also Like

@daemonic3

It’s 4:20 do you know what that means?!?

It means only 40 minutes left to get 8 hours of work done.

@LaLuchaNix

I just watched Grease and it makes me sad how kids today are too lazy to buy matching leather jackets and smoke cigarettes.

@DrunksWithGuns

I am a man with convictions.

Mostly because I have a really terrible lawyer.

@JennyJohnsonHi5

I posted “Happy Almost Mother’s Day!” on this chick I grew up with’s Facebook page, guess I was the only one who remembered her abortion.

@causticbob

Following the leaking of nude photo’s of Kim Kardashian, her personal assistant has been sacked for the delay.

@portmanteauface

Power is like wine coolers. Both sound fun, but nobody drunk on either one has ever made a good decision

@kelkulus

Women don’t consider it chivalrous when you open bathroom stall doors for them.

@achewave

*pulls out earbud*
What?
“We need to talk.”
*pulls out earbud*
“You’ve been spending too much time at Chernobyl.”
*pulls out earbud*
No way