who is Godzilla’s least favorite relative? his MOTHRA-IN-LAW

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It’s 4:20 do you know what that means?!?

It means only 40 minutes left to get 8 hours of work done.


I just watched Grease and it makes me sad how kids today are too lazy to buy matching leather jackets and smoke cigarettes.


I am a man with convictions.

Mostly because I have a really terrible lawyer.


I posted “Happy Almost Mother’s Day!” on this chick I grew up with’s Facebook page, guess I was the only one who remembered her abortion.


Following the leaking of nude photo’s of Kim Kardashian, her personal assistant has been sacked for the delay.


Power is like wine coolers. Both sound fun, but nobody drunk on either one has ever made a good decision


Women don’t consider it chivalrous when you open bathroom stall doors for them.


*pulls out earbud*
“We need to talk.”
*pulls out earbud*
“You’ve been spending too much time at Chernobyl.”
*pulls out earbud*
No way