Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend has clearly never worn leggings.

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Girls, your friends lied when they said chopping your hair off looked cute. They are just happy that their man wont want to bang you


My week is basically:
Monday #2
Monday #3
Monday #4


Ouija boards are officially obsolete, now that the dead can read messages addressed to them on Facebook.


My gynecologist follows me on Instagram, I really do not know what else he wants to see.


It’s a good thing I’m not Batman, because there’s NO WAY I would keep that shit secret.


my signature move is called “the Mouse,” where I run around the dance floor wearing nothing but a tampon


Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it’s Wednesday.