Girls, your friends lied when they said chopping your hair off looked cute. They are just happy that their man wont want to bang you
Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend has clearly never worn leggings.
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My week is basically:
Why can’t there be nostril pattern baldness?
“Theirye’re” problem solved
Ouija boards are officially obsolete, now that the dead can read messages addressed to them on Facebook.
My gynecologist follows me on Instagram, I really do not know what else he wants to see.
It’s a good thing I’m not Batman, because there’s NO WAY I would keep that shit secret.
my signature move is called “the Mouse,” where I run around the dance floor wearing nothing but a tampon
A silly but epic reminder of what happens when one person stands up. 😉
Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it’s Wednesday.