Why is it called “gym rat”? Why can’t I be a “gym koala” or a “gym panda”?

You Might Also Like


People complain a lot about Peeps, but when I really want to eat something slightly toxic and also glittery, they’re the first thing I reach for


GUY WHO INVENTED JACK-O-LANTERNS: I bet this gourd would be cooler if it looked like it wanted to murder me.


I bet the best part of being in your 70s is you get to drive through buildings and people just say “oh he must’ve hit the gas instead of the brakes” and that’s it


Twitter takes me places I’ve never been before. Take oncoming traffic for example.


“Is Phil coming tonight?”
“Phil Smith or Phil that has the eyesight of a bird?”
*suddenly a man runs face first into the sliding glass door*


Palaeontology teaches us dinosaurs were flat and lived underground


When people are making out in public make things even more awkward by applying chapstick and announcing you’re next


BABY FROZEN STEAK: mommy is he coming back
MOM STEAK: no honey—get some sleep
[rocky walks into the freezer]
ROCKY: time to punch some meats


Take your girl camping and your relationship will become more in tents.

Not Sorry.