Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.
*wife & I finally look up from our phones after 9 months*
“Have you had the kid yet?”
“Well, I’m level 77 on candy crush.”
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That moment of panic when you realize you haven’t checked on your Farmville in like 6 years
I know how to pronounce worcestershire until I see it written.
Alice: *falls into the rabbit hole*
White Rabbit: WROOOOOONG HOOOOOOOLE
If video games taught me anything it’s that you don’t need to work because there’s precious gems just laying around everywhere.
33, Male, Jerusalem. You?
What’s your greatest weakness?
ME: Probably avoiding tough questions
Can you elaborate on that?
ME: Oh hey look at the time!
I just spent 15 minutes searching for my phone in my room, using my phone as a flashlight…
this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don’t know who’s winning
The first matador