@LindseyEllison2
@Donna_McCoy You think a person loves you and then they up and bring a grocery store cake to your birthday party.
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@Donna_McCoy 
@Reel2Dialog2 Dear woman I saw jog down a busy street, run into a liquor store, buy two bottles of wine, and then jog back home,
Come back to me.
@Kyle_Raney “This won’t end well, mark my words.
Mark, my words.
MARK.
MY WORDS! I NEED MY WORDS, MARK!!!”*Mark sweatily fumbles with the script*
@OneFunnyMummy I don’t homeschool my kids cause the only historic battle I know is the one between Biggie and Tupac.
@__candypants Thank God the conventions are over because now we can get back to the real issues: FOOTBALL.
@BuffyMaddingly You aren’t supposed to strip during Zumba. Apparently.
@Smooheed I sneezed so many times I can now hear the color blue
@slender_sherbet Find someone who looks at you like Roger looks at a barbecue.
@djdarrellripley My Ex is so mean she would train homing pigeons and then move away…
@Bob_Janke If your BF wears a gold necklace outside of his tshirt both of you will be asked to get out of your car by the police at gunpoint some day