@KyleMcDowell86

[WOLF CUB] Dad, why do we howl at the moon?
[WOLF DAD] Well son, the moon is made of cheese and that’s rad as hell

You Might Also Like

@Laser_Cat

When you die your voice gets added to the Big Bang Theory laugh track.

@KrissiBex

Any time someone says “have you seen that YouTube video?”

I always say yes……… Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone

@thepunningman

Me: It stands for Greatest Of All Time
Jeweller: I just don’t think your wife will want “THE GOAT IS MINE” inscribed on her wedding ring

@LuvPug

Nobody ever mentions one of the greatest joys of being a parent is mocking your kids in an annoying voice, repeating what they whined about

@birbigs

“You’re joking about calling it Good Friday, right? I told you the part about the nails?” -Jesus #GoodFriday

@tazsme

Oh your baby’s name is Walter?

Is he close to retirement?

@NathanFillion

Fortune cookie- You will have a successful TV show.
Me- How old is this cookie?!

@bobvulfov

me: ah finally a night when i can go to sleep early and rest up

my upstairs neighbor: it is time to learn how to play the upright bass

@simoncholland

At some point all those Legos I’ve kicked down the vent instead of picking up over the years are going to be a major problem.

@_Awwsomeness_

Falling in love is like Falling Ketchup from a Bottle.
At first slowly, and then all at once.

*The fault in our Jars*