Someone gave me a star as a gift. I’m planning on sprucing it up with some planets and asteroids and using it as a summer vacation spot.
Women just want to make us better men, not drain our life essence. And sharks are just trying to kiss us but their teeth get in the way.
You Might Also Like
I can’t stand people who are indirect
You know who you are
1000s flocked to NJ to see the Virgin Mary in a tree trunk. But, don’t judge them, friends. When was the last time you saw a virgin in NJ?
The wife and I just got divorced.
We split the house………I got the outside.
Still wondering if Rick Astley gives up anything for Lent.
The 4 year old thinks a cat’s tail is it’s underwear because it covers the butthole. I can’t really argue with that logic.
*pops the hood*
“Looks like the timing nut is gone on yer muffler belt”
.. Umm r u sure you work here?
*lifts eye brow, moustache falls off*
[Signing waiver for the show Cops]
No no, you don’t have to blur my face but how about a sweet mustache?
My girlfriend asked me to act like an animal in bed. So I peed on the pillow.
As a rule, if the number of genders allowed to drive in your country is less than two, you live in an awful country.