@PhuckinCody GUY SPIDER: (after sex) omg I can’t wait to see my son
GIRL SPIDER: *putting on bib* yeah, about that..
@noog World: Hey check out this sport we made called football.
America: *sips beer* Check out this other sport I just made called football.
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@PhuckinCody 
@CyborgHanky I started a funeral business with self-driving hearses, but they keep crashing into other cars.
Business is booming.
@sixfootcandy Me: I heard the Herpes Virus is linked to Alzheimers.
Pharmacist: True. Name please.
Me: I have no idea.
@TheIronSherk *pretty girl walks by and doesn’t make eye contact*
She must be intimidated that I manage a fantasy football team that is 8-1
@EllaZee5 shampoo commercial: do you want more volume in your hair?
Medusa: absolutely not
@jonnysun βͺοΈπ§π’βͺοΈπ‘
π’βͺοΈβͺοΈπ‘βͺοΈ
π‘βͺοΈπ§βͺοΈπ’
π§βͺοΈβͺοΈπ’π‘
βͺοΈπ’π‘βͺοΈπ§
π‘βͺοΈπ§βͺοΈβͺοΈ
βͺοΈπ§βͺοΈπ‘π’
π’βͺοΈπ‘π§βͺοΈ
π‘βͺοΈβͺοΈπ’π‘
π§π’βͺοΈπ‘π’not wordle, just some fried rice βΊοΈ
@trouteyes Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
No mate, sounds shit.
@Juicedballs Congratulations on being hired by Super Cuts & welcome to day 1 training.
Let’s get started
These are called scissors
*collective aww*
@Hormonella I fart in church so I can sit in my own pew.
@PnkRckrSheena Whoever asked how can 2022 be any worse than the last couple of years, you jinxed the world. And now I’m coming for you.