@rn_murse

worst…sale…ever

You Might Also Like

@MaryKoCo

Why do zombies all have such shitty clothes?! It’s like you JUST died, how did you mess up your shirt that bad

@1followernodad

I’ve started replacing “yes” with “sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.”

@NoFilterAnjali

What is worse than your GF sending you a text to ” Break Up ” ?
Another text saying ” Sorry, that wasn’t for you ! ”
😂😂😂

@Tmoney68

Sure, everyone thinks a chubby dude in a diaper shooting people with a bow & arrow is cute until I do it at Starbucks & please send bail.

@prufrockluvsong

I hate when I order too large a portion of ribs that it tips my car over and my modern stone age family has to get back home on foot.

@oneawkwardmom

A spider crawled out of the head of broccoli I was washing and that’s what I get for not ordering pizza

@highprobably1

As a kid I thought karma would drop more pianos on people’s heads, and now I’m super disappointed.

@UncleDuke1969

“Son, we have to talk.”
“What is it, Dad?”
“You were adopted.”
“Oh my god… Really?!?”
“Yup. Get ready. They’re picking you up in an hour.”

@kariassad

Sure visiting family can be hard but it’s also the most efficient way to explain to your partner why you are the way you are

@MrFornicator

Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.