@Smooheed
@LuvPug I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
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@LuvPug 
@MrSkinnyGenes We don’t have Taco Bell in South Africa because this country’s been through too much already.
@newcastlecourt Jimmy Bathwater, 27 of Howdon, pleaded guilty to roundhousing a seagull out the sky. He was fined £300 despite how impressive that sounds
@sewmuchgeek [table of 6 year olds in lab coats]
How are we supposed to find a cure for cooties if we
*bangs fist on table*
CAN’T EVEN FIND WALDO?!
@OneFunnyMummy Take me with you! I shout to every airplane that flies over my house.
@TheAlexP Married men aren’t allowed to go the grocery store alone because we’re the kid in the shopping cart, but with money
Her: Did you know that there are fifteen different ways to say the word “whore” in Polish?
Me: What a beautiful language…
@pixelatedboat Is there something I can hang around my neck to show that I’m a big fan of crucifixions?
@markedly Spanish: The h is silent
English: Many letters can be silent
French: All letters are meaningless, every living thing is born without reason
@J0hnnyBlaze “Omg, I literally just died”
-people who literally don’t know what literally means