@Author_jo_jo

Writing without pants on is a simple pleasure.

Shame I can’t go back to Starbucks though.

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@IDontSpeakWhine

My husband will prove that he knows all the lines of a movie by saying them before the character in the movie says them, but when I do it while watching a murder documentary it’s creepy.

@Bahstonlady

Babies make for the worst pets ever, I try to explain to all of the expectant mothers at the grocery store.

@clindsaysway

Heard Santa and his wife separated, which would make them independent Clauses.

@jollyrobber

Based on the TV shows I watched as a kid I was expecting a lot more pies to the face by this point in my life.

@ParaJanitor

My autocorrect changes cunts to China. Hey don’t blame me. I’m not the racist code programmer.

@UduhEmeka

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@bjaynash

My mom used to beat me with a camera.

I still get flashbacks.