@urmumsausername No YOUR addicted to correcting people’s grandma on the Twitter
@iamspacegirl You can create your own organic, totally biodegradable mask by walking face-first through a series of spider webs every morning.
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@urmumsausername 
@Love_bug1016 The person who is your first and last thought of the day is either the one who has your heart, or who’s murder you’re secretly plotting.
@Gupton68 even the youngest member of The Breakfast Club is now 53, so it’s less ‘don’t you forget about me’ and more ‘I don’t remember why I came into the room’
@kevinthedad I was pretty frustrated when my 5yo kept calling me an “old man” until he clarified that being old meant that I was 20
@Laser_Cat The British are coming! The British are coming! The British have to get up early! The British swear they’ll call you in the morning!
@SteveKoehler22 The NFL has hired their first female referee.
She will throw flags for penalties the teams
committed 5 years ago.
@ValeeGrrl My daughter spelled America “Merica” on a book report so now I’m searching her room for Trump campaign propaganda.
@AnkCoupleTO I’m trying to convince this guy that ‘jesus is the reason for the season’ but loansharks have a different perspective
@UncleDuke1969 “Honey, have you seen the cat?”
– Mrs. Schrödinger
@FSUSteve Never underestimate what a woman will do for love.