You don’t see many dog librarians. Probably because of the barking.
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Therapist was right, stress balls are helpful, I’ve been throwing them at people all day and never felt better.
It’s like the police helicopter that’s been circling my neighborhood for an hour doesn’t even care about us unemployed people trying to watch TV.
Fact: you spend an average of 1.3 hrs of your life in the pantry looking for the damn paprika
I’m being forced to attend a family dinner tonight at a priest’s house…
There’s no such thing as a surprise exorcism, right?
My Son: In my dream last night we were on the second floor of a restaurant, and the WEIRDEST THING HAPPENED.
Me: I love when restaurants have second floors.
My Son: It’s really fancy!
Me: It’s the best!
~ Team Lack of Focus, reporting for duty
HR: Alright people, let’s be a little more sensitive to Linda because she’s pregnant with child
Sally [who is pregnant with a hedgehog]: *sigh*
I got 99 tabs open but my work ain’t one.
[Antiques Roadshow]
When this was first painted, the wolves were much further in the background. I would sell it before they reach the frame
*steals all the clocks*
*has all the time in the world*
a ladybug has entered the household. and i. am on my way to introduce myself