Dracula is never rebooted, merely revamped
You god damn morons. All these celebrity nudes were leaked by the Illuminati to distract us from important shit like karate and hoverboards.
You Might Also Like
How would you describe your past work?
[Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar]
“ok start it up”
“give it some gas”
“I can’t hear over you beatboxing”
My car, spinning uncontrollably thru a crowd of ppl, & my Korean friend screams”HIT THE BLAKES” & I’m like”I CANT BE THAT SELECTIVE”
Friend: You know that country song that goes-
I want someone to push me up against the wall.. lean in..
and softly whisper…
“I’ll do your housework for you”
I’ve never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.
[God making a planet for the first time and just constantly screwing things up]
Ugh, first world problems.
i can’t stop writing holiday rom com synopses so i guess i’ll just continue doing it until my hands fall off
Honestly, I think Bernie Sanders is just angry about email in general. #DemDebate