You know who DOES see something wrong with a little bump n’ grind?

Trevor in human resources.

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[in church]
“And Jesus, our saviour, died on the cross for your sins.”
[vicar points directly at me & entire congregation collectively nods]


Middle finger in the air, if you don’t really care. It’s like that sometimes man, ridiculous. Life can be sometimes ridiculous.


Favstar is like that uncle we all
have, he never works, but comes
around every few months asking
for money.


Doing couples therapy by myself to try and get double the help


The crack of dawn is probably just as good as the crack you get at midnight.


Make your day better by imagining people you don’t like floating helplessly into the sun.


“How much for this melted ghost?”
Sir that’s a bed sheet
“You have a lot of them! And they’re packaged? IS THIS GHOST HELL”
This is a Macys