@UNDEADTRESOR A person running around with a laptop chasing an unsecured WiFi signal looks eerily like a cat chasing a laser pointer.
@GloriaFallon123 You know you do too much online shopping when your kids start drawing pictures for the UPS man.
You Might Also Like
@UNDEADTRESOR 
@Quack_Daniel People who peel the entire banana before eating it are the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom.
@IGotsSmarts My apathy is at an all time whatever.
@anbrll00 Hockey fights are cool but imagine the make up sex afterwards in the locker room.
@LostFelicia I’m one whole face and body rearrangement away from being Scarlett Johansson.
@IamEnidColeslaw sorry I didn’t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
@thatchaddaniels Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it’s the tennis kind.
@SirEviscerate *pretends to throw ball*
*dog runs to chase it*
Ha, stupid dog.
*dog keeps running, disappears over horizon*
Um
*dog tackles me from behind*
@TheCatWhisprer When my cats look out the window at another cat I like to pretend they’re judging and disparaging it with little British accents.
@_ice_cream_j Babies who need to wear glasses creep me out. it’s like they are trying to act smarter than me or something, I don’t like it