You sit there and think about what you’ve done
-Me, leaving dishes in the sink to soak overnight
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u could put a horse in a time machine and send it to any era and the horse’s life would literally be the same
Can someone please invent pantyhose that don’t rip?
I think everyone in this bank just saw my face.
I have 3 kids and often wonder what their future holds.
10: will be a teacher
5: a doctor
3: a dictator – just not sure which country she will take over yet. So many choices, but I’m thinking Canada because they are so polite and she is scary AF.
Maybe you owe the rhythm some money and that’s why it’s trying to get you.
WE DON’T KNOW!
What in Willy Wonka Hillbilly Hell is this??
Lunch is the best thing that’s happened to me since breakfast.
If anyone asks, I’m only watching three shirtless buff guys work on the neighbour’s roof because home improvement projects are super educational.
CW: It’s 11:11 make a wish.
Me: I wish I could throw a clock at your face.
Febreze commercial:
“Now we remove her blindfold and…”*has panic attack, stabs camera man, vomits, jumps out closed window*
A chip tracker but it’s just me following the potato chip crumbs dropped by my toddler