You think it’s easy being a tall woman with a wide body this time of year? Do you know how many familys try to kidnap me and use me as a Christmas tree????!!!!

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Songs with lyrics like, “We don’t need sleep,” why are you rebelling against naps? What are you–four?


This feels like a totally reasonable reaction

#comics #webcomic #snowman #frosty


I cut a beanbag chair open on our neighbor’s lawn. Watching him try to clean it up will be my entertainment for the day.


My resolution this year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.


Note to self:

Next time your migraine specialist asks “How’s your head?” Don’t reply with “No man has ever complained.”


Squirrels run around like they’re being chased. Nobody cares about you. You live in tree. Get a job


“His arms are spaghetti, his feet are spaghetti, on stage he’s spaghetti, his Mom’s spaghetti.” – Eminem first draft


It’s not God I dislike, He’s cool. it’s certain members of his fanclub that rub me the wrong way.