@saggiesplinters

You think it’s easy being a tall woman with a wide body this time of year? Do you know how many familys try to kidnap me and use me as a Christmas tree????!!!!

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@curlycomedy

Songs with lyrics like, “We don’t need sleep,” why are you rebelling against naps? What are you–four?

@AlarminglyBad

This feels like a totally reasonable reaction

#comics #webcomic #snowman #frosty

@ColoradoUgly

I cut a beanbag chair open on our neighbor’s lawn. Watching him try to clean it up will be my entertainment for the day.

@Elifcello

My resolution this year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.

@Ideal_Victoria

Note to self:

Next time your migraine specialist asks “How’s your head?” Don’t reply with “No man has ever complained.”

@noog

Squirrels run around like they’re being chased. Nobody cares about you. You live in tree. Get a job

@UNDEADTRESOR

“His arms are spaghetti, his feet are spaghetti, on stage he’s spaghetti, his Mom’s spaghetti.” – Eminem first draft

@jkrambles

It’s not God I dislike, He’s cool. it’s certain members of his fanclub that rub me the wrong way.