First in my neighborhood to cut the grass and now the other husbands are looking at me like I reminded the teacher to assign homework.
You totally had me at “I want you” and I was so excited, I completely missed the ” To leave me alone” part….Sorry my bad.
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I have no idea who is gonna die first in this movie, because everyone is white.
Not really getting much out of this Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, to be honest. It’s almost as if my 6yo had never used PowerPoint before
Yea…sure! I was hoping someone would come and stand uncomfortably close to me today
Ever notice that women say “scare you to death” while men say “scare the pants off you”?
Well played men, well played…
I was wondering how they got the sign to just float in midair like that. Now it makes sense.
“any questions for Mr. deGrasse Tyson?”
[I knock over an old woman while sprinting to the mic]
HOW DOES AIR CONDITIONING WORK IN SPACE?
I was doing well on my diet until I got my period and had to eat four pieces of pizza, a block of cheese, two candy bars, and seven houses.
*Husband forgets to close screen on door*
*4 hrs later*
Me: *feels furriness on my leg in bed*
in other news: 8 hours from now, half the country will be screaming about tragedy and loss b/c some dudes didnt catch a ball enough times