*interrupts your heartfelt story*
Oh NOW I hear your New York accent!! Say “dying wish” again!
Ok now say “coffee”!
“you’re so quiet” i wish you were too
You Might Also Like
25 more pounds to lose and I’ll be ready to be seen at my gym.
If I say I love you, don’t read too much into it. I just told this cheesecake that I love it, too.
*Opens a window and the wind blows 42 corndogs from my desk.*
“Oh no! My research!!”
Do you know how fast you were going sir?
Wha? No,like 65?
“Seems pretty slow wouldn’t you say?”
I guess so.
THIS IS THE POLICE.
COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP.
“Wrong house guys.”
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?
“Yup, happens a lot.”
OKAY COOL, SORRY.
Her: how are you
Her: you sure?
Her: you’re alright?
Her: are y–
Me: people like you go missing
If there is any indication of how this day will go, I put my shirt on backwards this morning. No biggie, except the fact it’s a button down.
The baby’s trying to eat the poinsettia again
Well, maybe we should get rid of it
The plant? But we just got it
. . .Haha yeah, the plant