Yelling “give me back my panties, you pervert” at joggers is a surprisingly effective way of encouraging them to run faster.
Whatever, Batman. You may call it the Batcave, but that doesn’t change the fact you still live in your parents’ basement.
If I ever get pregnant, I’m dying my hair green & getting more tattoos, so when the kid rebels he’ll go to a good college & become a doctor.
Body language tells us a lot about people. For example, my neighbor really doesn’t like to be held underwater for more than 2 minutes.
Your baby might be adorable, but so is my cat and she cleans her own butt.