@Floatersfinest

If God is a woman then how do you explain:
1) Spiders
2) Shoes you can’t afford
3) Periods
4) Men

@Floatersfinest

People laugh cos I’ve got 3 cats, but come the next Ice Age, when I speed past you on my cat sled, who’ll be laughing then?

@Floatersfinest

I think the government looks at Twitter and thinks ‘This is WAY cheaper than Asylums’