@IQuitWriting

If pizza places cold called people’s homes and asked if they wanted to order a pizza, I guarantee you their business would triple.

@IQuitWriting

By the time my father was my age he had amassed, like, 30 coffee cans full of screws. I have none. What have I done with my life?

@IQuitWriting

Can an objects name be any more ridiculous than the walkie talkie? Why aren’t toilets called ‘sitty shittys’? Refrigerator ‘foody cooly’?