@bea_ker

Donald Trump’s campaign is basically that thing where you say the wrong answer in Pictionary then just keep saying it louder and louder

@bea_ker

GHOST: I’m here to warn you to change your ways before it’s too late
POLTERGEIST: I’ma open your cupboards

@bea_ker

“This is The Grey Wall of China”
I think it’s ‘great’
“We all do, pal”

@bea_ker

[in ambulance]

“Can you describe the snake that bit you?”

Yes it was like an angry rope

@bea_ker

I had two ribs removed so I could pet small dogs easier.