I’m from a family of polite kleptomaniacs.
I take after my dad.
I’m sexually attracted to the glass sections of a house.
French windows?
No but I’ve snogged patio doors.
That day I took a photo of a ghost builder on their way to work carrying their hard hat.
A friend of mine just said, Am I the only one who gives my dog a massage?
Well, I replied, I can honestly say I’ve never given your dog a massage.
About halfway through my wife’s lecture on how dangerous cutting my own hair was I chopped off my own ears. I’ll never hear the end of it now.
I’ve just had to reset my password to Delicate Luggage Handler as I was told it had to be case sensitive.