@Marlebean

If the characters can come alive in Toy Story, then why can’t my dishwasher play cleanup while I’m gone.

@shitheadsteve__

10 year old me preparing to tell my mom at 9pm I need glue and construction paper for my project due tomorrow.

@ThisOneSayz

Wanna delight in the fact that you’ve been tricking the kids by using white instead of black pepper so they won’t complain that dinner is “too spicy”?

THEN DON’T TELL YOUR HUSBAND WHAT YOU DID!

@UnFitz

Why are mobs always “angry mobs”?

Where are all the relaxed mobs and contented mobs and mildly pleasant mobs?