@pest_mode

when interviewing a person for a dog walking position, you must make absolutely certain that given the chance, the applicant won’t eat a dog

@pest_mode

When did folks start naming kids old fashioned trades like, “Hunter” and “Porter” and “Archer” and “Blacksmith” and “Prostitute?”

@pest_mode

*golf pro picks up his ball and eats it*

*audience claps politely*

@pest_mode

Listen. You’ve been saying this for the last eight and a half months. I still don’t know what you’re “expecting”