@sumpeoplelikeit

Whoa there, pregnancy test. You just tell us yes or no and we’ll decide if it’s positive or negative.

@sumpeoplelikeit

If you have a tattoo on your head, you’ve lost the right to ask me what I’m looking at.

@sumpeoplelikeit

If you ask me where your glasses are, and they’re on your head, I will help you look for them forever.