“‘ey kid READ THE SIGN!”
My cat flicked a spider in my face just now. Soon as I finish screaming it’s time for me to go to bed
Cat: HUMAN IS TIME 2 DO A NEGOTIATE
Cat: IF U LET CAT EAT JUST ONE PLASTIC CAT WILL PROTECT U FROM SPIDERS
Me: I’m sorry but you can’t eat plastic, it’s really bad for you
Cat: FINE. U AM CHOOSE WAR
Me: where are you going
Cat: MAKE ALLIANCE WITH SPIDERS
Evolution: so I have some good news and some bad news for you
Dung beetle: what’s the good news
Evolution: you won’t ever have to worry about student loans
Dung beetle: phew wow that’s great! What’s the bad news?
The most unrealistic thing about Warrior Cats isn’t the talking cats it’s their names. I’ve been around feral cats; they wouldn’t call themselves Stormheart or whatev. More like: “I am called Lord Orange. Here are my finest warriors: Orange, Orange & Also Orange.”
My daughter is at school and she just sent me this photo entirely without context so I have to assume she turned her teachers into cats
U talkin 2 me?
Cat: HUMAM! AM LEARN U CAN WIN MANY MONEY IF U DO A BET ON AN SPORTS
Me: yeah that’s true
Cat: MONEY GET MANY FOOD
Me: also true
Cat: CAT AM HAVE FOOLPROOF WAY 2 KNOW WHICH SPORTS TEAM 2 PICK
Cat: DO A BET ON AN TEAM WHO HAS MOST SCORE AT END OF GAME
Cat: WHERE AM GO?
Cat: PLS DO NOT SAY VET
Cat: U HAVE BETRAYED CAT