Him: Are you free later?
Me: Nah, baby. I’m more expensive later.
[flirting between USA and Canada]
Canadian: you’re my favourite.
American: no u.
Just killed an ant and I feel like for the sake of gender equality I need to kill an uncle now.
“does this spark joy?” but with phone contacts.
[at a chemistry convention]
Him: “You’re so-dium cute, but are you always this salty?”
Me: “Na, not always. Just periodically.”
The hardest things to say:
(1) I need help
(2) Worcestershire
I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I am a chair potato. And later I will be a bed potato.