@mxmclain My kid systematically checks me for weakness like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park testing the fence
@mxmclain @mxmclain The opposite of a vegan is a Texan
@mxmclain School winter break
Dec 22, 2021 –
@mxmclain 2022: I can fix it
@mxmclain Are you there Santa?
It’s me, Midge
@mxmclain You better watch out
@mxmclain I ate a kids meal at Wendy’s
his mom was furious
@mxmclain Them: ugh could you be more annoying
Me: oh my yes
@mxmclain Luggage rack or cop car is the road trip game you hate to lose
@mxmclain The only good thing about daylight saving time is tricking kids into bed early