@mxmclain

My kid systematically checks me for weakness like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park testing the fence

@mxmclain

I ate a kids meal at Wendy’s
his mom was furious

@mxmclain

Them: ugh could you be more annoying
Me: oh my yes

@mxmclain

Luggage rack or cop car is the road trip game you hate to lose

@mxmclain

The only good thing about daylight saving time is tricking kids into bed early