@mxmclain My dog when she hears popcorn popping
@mxmclain My husband would need to live to be 200 to finish all the things he said he “was GOING to do”
@mxmclain What in the hell is “disposable income”?
@mxmclain There is no bond greater than the one between a Tupperware container and marinara sauce
@mxmclain Somebody better tell me what extortion means or I am going to start breaking kneecaps
@mxmclain We didn’t need tutors when I was a kid, we just cheated
@mxmclain When I was pregnant and people would ask where I was registered I’d reply:
Pet Smart, we’re crate training this one
@mxmclain When I say “let me think about that” it means I’m gonna ask someone smarter than me
@mxmclain Pregnancies really fly by when they are someone else’s
@mxmclain A backlit photo is a fun way to find out that you need to start plucking your chin