@shivillex

Few things in life are more pleasurable than
turning off the lights in a public bathroom while
people are still inside..

@shivillex

North West: Daddy what were you famous for?
Kanye: Rapping, Son. North West: mommy what
were you famous for? ((awkward silence))

@shivillex

Noses are red, violets are blue. It ain’t love
darling, you got flu.

@shivillex

Studies suggests, 9 out of 10 men prefer a girl
with a big butt. The 10th man prefers the other 9
men.

@shivillex

If one ex was drowning and the other was
dangling from a cliff-edge and you had one set of
ropes to save them….where would you hide it?