Me: After all these years, I feel like all you offer me is false support
Limb technician:…well it’s kinda my job Greg, otherwise you’d be hopping home.
I really wanna cuddle a great big bear but the biggest shame is that I’ll probably only get to do it the once.
Me: when can I start trusting news on social media again?
Them: April fools ends midday
Me: April fools?
Always be yourself.
Unless you’re Monday. Monday, how about you try being like Friday for once!
Me: do that thing I like
Body: sleep more than 5 hours? Pfft lol! Yeah we don’t do that anymore.