How strict is the “I licked it, it’s mine” policy?
There’s some things I’ve licked that I don’t want.
Thank God I wasn’t on twitter when I was in college. It would’ve taken me 65 years to get my degree.
Me: I’m so over him
Vodka: No you’re not, you should text him
Vodka: Yes! 25 times
Does the 5 second rule apply when you accidentally say “I love you” during sex?
Him: I like you a lot.
Him: I’ve found someone else.
Her: I’m bat shit crazy restraining order status in love with you now
After watching Honey Boo Boo, I realize America has much bigger problems than the national debt.