Having the meal you made rejected by a toddler is especially disheartening because it’s like, buddy, I’ve seen you eat play-doh.
When they said “History repeats itself,” I wasn’t expecting all of the twentieth century in two years.
After 2020 I’m never going to question why they keep opening up Jurassic Park despite obvious safety issues.
I made a cool diagram of how the Spanish Flu worked in 1918.
Maybe you should trust the CDC on how to handle a pandemic over your cousin Matt who is banned from Denny’s for setting off firecrackers.
Was everyone before this just…not washing their hands?
Me: … No worries!
Narrator: There were, in fact, many worries.
One thing that bothers me about vampire novels is that vampires are essentially just very old people. They should act like it.
I want to see a sexy vampire who looks like they’re in their 20’s go on a rant about Woodrow Wilson while chewing hard candies.
Oh you “like women?” Cool, name three of their early works.
Wait. Why is it called ghosting? Ghosts stick around. THAT’S THEIR WHOLE DEAL.
Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that’s your ghost outfit forever.