Dear burglar, I’m really sorry about all the mess getting in your way, I wasn’t expecting company
My ideal weight is five million dollars
My daddy always said, life is like a tray of nachos, a big hot mess held together by cheese
For my lower body, I do 30 squats and 30 lunges. For my upper body, I put on and take off my sports bra.
Witness: … she said it, exactly so… verbatim.
Judge: *checks notes* Who the heck is Verb and who did he eat?!
Mid-flight turbulence is just god’s way of preforming confessions at scale