If I had a time machine, I’d go back in time to just before a famous person was supposed to be assassinated and borrow money from them.
“I’M A DOG!”
“I’M A DOG TOO!”
When I’m dead, I’m going to haunt offices and say, “OooOoo… why are you using your mouse?… hit Control-C… you’re taking forever…”
I looked up “thesaurus” in my thesaurus and it says “Don’t be a smart-ass”.
Hipster sushi restaurants only serve eye rolls.
In Canada, she’s Kilometery Cyrus.