7: Mom, sometimes when you’re talking to me, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
M: Join the club.
Another morning waking up not knowing where tf you are or how you got there.
A little discriminatory towards Jesus.
I’m a mom of 2 boys. My hobbies include always wondering where that smell is coming from and if it’s safe to pick up that towel or sock on the floor.
During my annual gynecologist visit:
Gyno: I’m going to stick this in. You might feel a little pressure.
Me: *giggling* That’s what he said.
Me: Oh shit! Did I say that out loud?
Every time my husband pisses me off, I sprinkle sugar on his deodorant so he’s wondering all day why his armpit hair is so sticky.
Him: I got 99 problems but you ain’t one.
Her: Just wait.