@CubanaMama82

I once got a ride home from the pizza guy by ordering 1 pizza to be delivered to the bar and 1 to my house. Pretty sure i deserve an award.

@CubanaMama82

If I wasn’t supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn’t have made it taste so good with orange juice.

@CubanaMama82

I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it’s obvious he had no idea how letters work.

@CubanaMama82

If you’re ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.

@CubanaMama82

The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work.

@CubanaMama82

I’m such a bad ass chef that I hear music every time I cook… Hubby calls it the “smoke alarm” but whatever…I think he’s just jealous.