The faster the ponytail bounces the more purposeful the woman walking
Daughter, who can clearly see me cleaning the toilet: “Mom do you like being a grownup?”
I like to carry binoculars when hiking so that when I make frequent stops it looks like I’m appreciating nature instead of fighting for air
If you can’t handle me at my worst you’re really missing out on some interesting things to tell your therapist
The number of decades in your age directly correlates to the days of recovery you need after a night out