Real jealous of all the bears getting fat and preparing to sleep for months
You can be 30+ years old with children of your own and your parents will tell you not to eat too much ice cream because you threw up once when you were 8
Netflix needs an “unwatch” button so you can watch the newest episode without getting caught
My daughter wrote a story at school about a sad cat that drinks cocktails so I should probably call her teacher
Hear me out: a dating service that matches you based on your food delivery orders like “this person also ordered Chinese food five nights in a row”
When they tell you the salad is your whole dinner and not just a side
It’s getting harder and harder to watch teen shows and movies and not side with the parents
Told my daughter that whoever takes the longest nap gets to choose what’s for dinner.
And now we wait.
My daughter has decided she loves giving “massages”, or as I like to call them, “tests of mom’s pain tolerance”
When I was 22 I’d stay up late and wake up early just so I could fit more in my day
Now if there’s more than 2 things on my agenda I need a nap
Things books give you unrealistic expectations for:
-mysteriously inheriting from a stranger
-solving murders with zero actual training
-anything romantic ever
Until the day I die I will think of the 90s as 10 years ago
When your daughter asks “are your snacks more important than me??” you should NOT pause to think.
I know this now.
Make a dating service for introverts and call it Mumble
I love my sister now but when we were young I would have traded her for a bag of chips and a soda