I’m not a hot mess I’m a room temp predicament
I know I couldn’t handle being in a position of power because when I’m the banker in Monopoly I steal money
Told my daughter it’s against the law to play April Fool’s Day pranks on parents so everyone back me up on this
I feel like such a hypocrite when I tell my cat she can’t have any more treats until she loses some weight
I’m a conflict avoider until someone wants to share my food
Made my daughter dinner last night and she told me it was really good as long as she took tiny bites and used lots of ketchup
One of my students looked at me this morning and said I must have had a rough morning so if your feelings are easily hurt teaching might not be for you
My cat has taught me that an 80:20 ratio of sleep to physical activity is really the way to go
The way I’m terrified to one day raise a teenager you’d think they have rabies
My daughter asked me if I’d be very upset if she didn’t live with me when she’s a grownup so I told her I’d try my best once I stopped laughing
I don’t buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parent’s house like an adult
The struggle when hungry me has to eat the lunch that healthy me packed
Play monopoly on the first date so you know what you’re getting into
When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.
My daughter now associates height with age and refuses to believe I could be older than someone that’s 5’5”