@TweetToTheVoid2

Twitter was down earlier. I tried telling jokes on Grindr but it wasn’t as satisfying

@TweetToTheVoid2

I don’t understand Christian heavy metal. Like why are they so angry for Jesus?

@TweetToTheVoid2

Me: Two men enter, one man leaves

Friend: Do you have to say that every time you drop me off at work?

@TweetToTheVoid2

When you’re in the hospital on morphine, a fun game to play is “were my eyes closed for 20 seconds or 2 hours”