@causticbob

The school phoned me today and said, “Your son’s been telling lies.”

I replied, “Well, tell him he’s bloody good – I ain’t got any kids!”

@causticbob

Just heard that someone has started digging Fidel Castro’s grave..

Must be a communist plot.

@causticbob

mountain lion attacks are on the rise. especially in california. be prepared!

@causticbob

Mark Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn’t want to waste time on things that don’t matter.

He runs Facebook.

@causticbob

If you go to jail for tax evasion, you are living off taxes for not paying taxes.