Saving Private Ryan but it’s just me retrieving my daughters favourite toy that she’s dropped down the toilet
Me: your snowman can look however you like sweetheart
2: *sticks arms in snowman’s head*
Me: not like that
The upside to wearing a mask at work is I can yawn in meetings and no one knows. The downside is I yawn so much I look like I’m crying
I left my kid in daycare an extra half hour so I could eat Doritos without sharing and I have absolutely no regrets about this
I’m just a girl, standing in front of a toddler, asking her to eat her own damn breakfast instead of mine
My baby girl turns 2 today and I’m so glad I bought her all these presents so she can play with the empty boxes and wrapping paper
I got my kid these awesome new bath toys so obviously she spent the whole time playing with a shampoo bottle
My toddler has lost the eyes from her Mr Potato head toy and I’m pretty sure it was on purpose so he can’t see how shit 2020 is