@STRIKINGxVIKING

“We need something strong and durable to protect cellphones from damage”

LG: Plastic?

Samsung: Metal?

iPhone 8: What about Glass?

@STRIKINGxVIKING

They say all good things must come to an end…

After 7 wonderful years of marriage…

I walked in on my wife…

Watching Twilight..

@STRIKINGxVIKING

I’m 32 years old and I’ve watched Frozen 26 times this week…

For those of you out there thinking about having unprotected sex tonight…

@STRIKINGxVIKING

YOU THINK CONDOMS ARE STUPID???

My 2yr old just cried for 45 minutes because the TV in our car isn’t as big as the TV in our house…

@STRIKINGxVIKING

They need to make a dating App. For couples who have that “3rd wheel” best friend.

It would be like a 3rd party Tinder with 2 References.

@STRIKINGxVIKING

What I really love about Air Fresheners is how it makes your bathroom smell like someone just shit in your rose garden…

@STRIKINGxVIKING

“Age is just a number”

…so is your credit score, your weight, the balance in your bank account

@STRIKINGxVIKING

TRUE STORY

Just made this restaurant change its “All you can drink Brunch” Policy.

@STRIKINGxVIKING

Johnny Depp’s wife of just over a year Filed for Divorce today…

With NO prenup…She is gonna get soooooo many bracelets.