Just for fun, I think I’ll get fitted for a casket and just use it as a coffee table until the big day comes.
Him: What the hell is a palindrome?
Me: No, it’s not
What kind of therapist does a cat see?
West Side Story gave me the wrong impression. No one at this gang fight is a good dancer and I’ve been shot in the arm.
If you lose a tooth in a bar fight and put it under your pillow, the tooth fairy will leave you $100 because you’re hardcore.
*takes cat from pocket of doctor’s coat & holds it over patient*
He has finished his scan. He says he doesn’t like you & you have cancer.